Not knowing where I am going, why I can’t connect, why things don’t make sense…these are things that happen to me when the mist descends and clouds the path ahead.
Sometimes I can feel the mist approaching…sometimes its appearance comes right out of the blue. Either way, I am never as prepared as I could be for it.
This mist tends to affect only the spiritual and magickal sides of my existence, and the fact that I believe this to be one of the most important aspects of my life amplifies the feelings of frustation and annoyance I get, especially when I feel ‘that there is work to be done’. I used to struggle with why this blocking would occur…was it something I had done or not done? Could I explain it or was it something a little more mysterious…even the result of another’s negativity on me. That was until I realised that this mist wasn’t a block at all.
I have a tendency to throw my self into something completely…I get lost in it…I live it and breath it…this is the same with The Craft…we are intricately linked and cannot be seperated (I know that many others have expressed the same or similar feelings when talking about the Craft). As such, I cannot stop my thirst for learning, my quest for knowledge and the inevitable putting into practice of all that I have learnt, not to mention the celebration of festivals and the day-to-day practice of the Craft that comes with the territory. Then, ultimately, the mist will descend, clouding the path ahead, creating what I used to think of as a block, although in actual fact all it is… is a period of enforced rest! A time when I am made to stop before I break from exhaustion.
[I will briefly go off at a tangent here to explain a little about my personal perspective…Made to stop? By whom? This will depend on your personal viewpoint and spiritual or religious practice. For me, I believe that it is my guides that step in before I can wear myself out. I refer to my guides, periodically as Spirits, Guides or by their names. However, as a Witch I also believe that I am able to work with Deity without the aid of an intermediary and sometimes it is the Lord and Lady I thank for slowing me down.]
So when I am made to where the mantle of Enforced Rest, as I said at the beginning of this post, my direction may become a little hazy. What I mean by this isn’t so much that I don’t know if the path of the witch is for me or not, that is never up for debate. Rather, I can’t decide which subject or area I want to study next. I may struggle to find my focus or the things that I did on a regular basis may be put on the backburner and instead concentrate on something else. At this time I also find that I question myself and my decisions more often than I would usually, and the effects of the comments of others may have more of an impact as I give their negative thoughts more time than they are due.
But, once this period is over, everything settles down again…my purpose is clear, my priorities are back in check, my confidence is on the up and the negative thoughts of others are sent where they belong!
As with most things in nature, this is cyclical. We have times of great productivity but to ensure this is possible, we should also have time to stop and rest so that when the time to labour comes around, we can work at the highest possible level and ultimately reap the rewards in the future, whatever they may be.
What I have come to learn is that when the mist descends and clouds the path ahead, I shouldn’t fight it or try in vain to carry on through it. I should instead pause and take the opportunity to rest and reflect on what I have so far learnt and accomplished, before taking the time to think about where I want to go next. Then when the mist clears I have a greater understanding of what I have already learnt, my direction, my purpose and most of all, who I am.